never play flip cup with pint glasses
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
