So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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