Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
