the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
id be glad to
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
