You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
