White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
