Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
