I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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