Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
