You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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