Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
