then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
