I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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