turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
