i will never coherently bang her
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
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