So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
