no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize