I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
