oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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