David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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