the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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