Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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