Midget sex pt 2 tonight
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
