there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
