Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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