Kiss
Puke
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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