Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
