every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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