talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
