i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
