just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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