There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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