I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
