So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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