Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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