roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
