so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
