all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
