Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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