Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
