i think i have herpe
just one?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
