even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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