He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
