Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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