Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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