i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
