It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
