OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
