Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You made out with two different species that night
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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