Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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