Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
