How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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